I didn’t get in to the musical I auditioned for and I am very disappointed. I shouldn’t be, the very fact I auditioned at all would have shocked the me of even six months ago and it some small way it does delight the me of now. And I did get to the callback stage. But I can’t help feeling I’m not good enough.
There are things I can blame - I’m an outsider to the group I auditioned for and so would presumably have to work harder to get noticed in auditions and callbacks. That just means I should have worked harder. I’ve also never had any voice training whatsoever and in fact had not sung properly in front of anyone until the night before my audition. Even doing that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done so I need to keep this in perspective, that is an achievement in itself. But still.
I loved (most of) the experience of being in The Elephant Man, particularly the structure in which to perform and the chance to do that AND be singing seemed perfect. I have limited time left in this country before moving to Australia for 6 months and having another show under my belt would have looked better when trying to do the same thing out there. But this was not meant to be. What’s for you will not go by you and all that. But I’m still fucking blue.
Ok, plan of action. Get writing on mine and Rachel’s own musical. This should spur me on. Get writing on sketches for the next We Happy Few show, another important act of collaboration. Get writing on new characters and new pieces for existing characters for stand up. In essence, GET WRITING. But first, I have tedious things to do today. As ever.